Tuesday, May 29, 2007


Embracing Failure in the Caregiver Game

    It's inevitable. If you're a caregiver you're going to host a sense of failure over something, sometimes multitudes of somethings: Failure to notice; failure to do; failure to think; failure to react appropriately; failure to moderate well among extended family; failure to "whistle a happy tune"; failure to "take care of yourself"; failure to effectively medically advocate; failure to look up and out when everyone else has their eyes firmly on their own patch of ground; failure to do everything "right"; failure, finally, to know what's right.
    Along with everything else that occurred to me this weekend, it also occurred to me that when I'm at the point of exhaustion, emotional or intellectual or physical or spiritual or all or any combination of the previous at once, the most effective action I can take is to embrace my failure and live it. Without apology.
    This means:    Nancy Regan was right. Sometimes it's best to "Just Say No."

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